After the Fact: Cleanliness

My dad subscribed to the Gilbreth model of family efficiency though we were seven shy of “Cheaper by the Dozen.” In a house with only one bathroom, morning showers were always a bone of contention: someone always over-stayed their visit, using all of the available hot water in the process. This prompted dad to hold “showering classes.” With a bar of soap and a dry towel for each child, we were lined up in the dining room, right in front of the “picture” window that faced the park across the street.

Down one side with the soap, up the middle, down and up the other side and a quick swipe around the tummy. The towel was administered in pretty much the same fashion.  These lessons were on-going, with a repeat any time someone transgressed. I can and do take a shower in less than 10 minutes. With a shampoo and hair rinse included. However, I have to plan my bathtub activities around a time when either Chris, Patience or my granddaughter Torrey are not indulging in an “hour of shower.” And it takes an extra half-an-hour for any of them to get ready for the main feature.

Dad was emphatic about what was and what was not allowed, from whether it was going out on a school night (not) or missing school/church when you felt just plain awful (I’ll drag you all the way, but you’re going!) While mom never “waffled around,” she was an easier touch so any and all issues were taken first to her. She referred only those requests or situations that she felt drastic to dad. No wonder he thought he was raising a tribe of wild children.

In my teen years, punishment for any sin was being “grounded.” No high flying for a term decided by the severity of the undesired behavior. By the time my younger brother Steve hit the teen years, it evolved to “No wheels, no shells.” That Steve had paid for his first Jeep without dad’s help weighed into the factor not one little bit. Dad would take his car keys and there was no argument. The shells meant he couldn’t go hunting. Dad was “the boss of us” from start to finish.