After the Fact: Through the looking glass

There is no such thing as “bad taste in men (or women).”  Being with the wrong partner is simply a matter of temporary stupidity, and there are few who, in a lifetime, escape it.  Be it major or minor, long-term or a one-date disaster, we can all look back and see ourselves in the swamp of poor judgement at some time.  My friend Sara married eight times (divorced seven) before she was 45.  You’d have to know Sara to understand that it wasn’t so much the temporary stupidity as it was “hope springing eternal.”  Sara really did love being married; she just didn’t love the men she married. 

Some women are on a continuous search for someone who will enable them to live a life of luxury, lounging on a sofa while eating bon-bons and watching Netflix; others end up being the one who goes to work every day to support the bum who does pretty much the same bon-bon routine.  My younger sister swears she has a neon sign on her forehead that’s invisible to everyone but those guys who are looking for a “sugar-momma.”  It reads: “Lazy?  Unemployed?  Apply Here.”  She was married once to the guy she now refers to as “the Village Idiot,” and decided life was easier as a single mom.  The “V.I.” remarried and Jami thinks about sending flowers to his blushing bride on every anniversary, a thank-you for taking him out of her life.

Speaking of “the Village Idiot,” don’t we all come up with “pet names” for those people in our past?  One of my brothers referred to his ex- as “the Swamp Witch.”  Most often, mine is “Cince Parming,” though I’ve used other epithets to define my thoughts on the matter.  And you don’t want to know some of the names I use to fondly describe my ex-mother-in-law.  Oh, then there was my daughter’s mother-in-law, “Crazy Lucille.”  Sometime, I’ll have to tell you about “Crazy Lucille”!  She’s gone now, but never forgotten.

In the new millennia, when you’ve run through all possible prospects in your social circles, people resort to online “dating” services and there are dozens, some hosting “general” candidates while others are more specific, like “Farmers and” or whatever that site is “named.”  Contrary to touting success stories, there are no guarantees that you’ll meet anyone at all let alone someone compatible enough to consider a relationship of any kind. A friend’s daughter actually met someone playing checkers online!  He was totally wonderful, except he lived in Australia.

It happens frequently, but it’s still not a great idea to develop more than friendships at the workplace.  Most police departments, I think, still frown upon married couples working for the same agency.  I worked for a police department for a few years and I loved each and every one who served, but not enough to attend their weekly “choir practice” at the local saloon.

On the other hand, when you spend most of your waking hours at work, where else do you have an opportunity to meet eligible candidates?  Certainly not at the library where conversation is discouraged!  Or the sports bar, unless you’re an over-the-hill sports fan.  Many churches have “after service” activities where you meet people with values probably a lot like your own.  If, of course, it’s your church and you’re not just a “drop-in.”  At my age, the hot spot for meeting someone who shares your interest in things like naps and old Westerns on tv or maybe even going fishing is the local senior center.  There’s still a lot of fun in the Golden Girls and the guys aren’t bad either.

Editors note: Patt is having some health problems and won’t be able to write any columns for a few weeks. Her daughter. Chris, said prayers are always welcome.