Amarah's Corner: Brian, Part 2

I remember how hard my Momma worked and came home to hold baby brother to feed him when she was so tired and sad but she tried to keep a smile and she never hurt us. Momma was our savior. Every once-in-a-while we would go to the little country church down the dirt road from our house. I remember learning about GOD and love and if you prayed, He would fix the problems in your life and how JESUS died for all of us, to live, and He watched over us.

As the years went on and the beatings continued, my Momma moved us around to run away from Daddy. By 2nd grade, me, my little brother and my brother just older than me, found ourselves in Florida. My oldest brother had started to rebel and stayed with family and friends in Texas. He was getting in trouble and getting a bad reputation and even quit school in 9th grade. He started working construction, drinking, smoking pot and cigarettes.

We visited Disney World while we were in Florida. So, I have memories of Momma, little brother, me and my other older brother, there. It was the most peace we had for that short while. Then, we moved back to the farm. Shortly after, again, with my Dad, and he came back around and Momma always felt sorry and let him come around till he became mean and beat her and us.

I remember at 5 years old, they were divorced but he was always coming-and-going, leaving us battered and bruised every time. We moved several times – to Florida two times, and to Houston, once.

By 1986, when my little brother died, we moved to Grapevine, Texas, with my Dad’s older-sister, my aunt, who shared the same birthday as me, and her kids, my cousins, who were good to us. But, that only lasted about six months, then again, back to the farm. But, I was different and seemed like we all were different after little brother died. He almost lived 10 full years and was the strongest, most innocent person I have ever known til this day!

I became reclusive and only had 2-3 friends that I would visit and started having trouble in school. The older I got, the more I had to deal with Daddy and his cruel ways, holding matches til they burned me. He’d pinch my finger with pliers, slap our faces, dragged us by our hair, beat us with his belt, kicked-our-butts for real! I watched my oldest brother beat my Dad bloody because Dad blacked my Momma’s eyes, broke her nose, and shot guns at her and us, more times than I can remember. I recall the one time I saw my Momma get even. Dad had my 2nd-to-oldest brother pinned on the bed by the wall with his foot in his neck. Momma had to crack a wooden baseball-bat, three times on his head, to knock him off my brother.

As a teenager, I had already fought fist-to-fist with Daddy, several times. He shot at me and almost stabbed me with an old cavalry-sword. This went on til I was about 12. By 21, he had gotten older and I was well-trained at fighting for my life!

The last 10 years of his life with us, he became mellow as we watched him on his breathing machine with as much lead on the breathing tube as possible to walk outside. He died. I found him, 9/11/12. My mother kept on helping us boys until the last of her days, 12/10/17. I missed her last days and missed her funeral as well, here, on probation in Colorado.

I went with a woman Momma told me not to stay with. Wish I had listened to my Momma! GOD BLESS HER SOUL! I will always regret it. Now, the woman I tried to stay with and still love, seven years later, and now what was to be the eighth year, I’ve been alone, homeless, and having to live with dope-heads to have shelter from the Colorado winter and it landed me in Alamosa County Jail.

I have crippling arthritis, major depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I worked hard all my life just to end up here with no help. Word-to-the-wise: Watch ‘Where’ and ‘Who’ you hang around! Pray for me, please? Regretfully yours, Brian.

Thank You, Brian, for sharing your story. I will share something with you that my grandma told me: “You are not responsible for anything that anybody else does. But you are responsible for everything that you do. So, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and continue doing what’s right. GOD knows your heart.” Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 25:40 (KJV), “Whatever you’ve done unto the least of these (kids), you’ve done it unto me.” They may not think so, Brian, but people who are mean to kids will pay - big-time - when they’re face to face with Jesus.

Until next time, remember, Jesus Loves You, and JESUS IS LORD!