Amarah's Corner: 'D' shares her story
Hi! My name is Amarah. Kids are important to me, and they’re important to Jesus, too.
Jesus said in Matthew 25:40 (KJV), “Whatever you’ve done unto the least of these (kids), you’ve done it unto me.”
“Kids like me” are kids and adults of all ages whose parents are, or were, drug addicts, and alcoholics; kids who have suffered, or who are suffering, abuse and neglect on multiple levels; and kids who are victims of bullying.
First, I want everyone to know that Alamosa Bowl, 204 Victoria Avenue, is offering FREE BOWLING the 1st Sunday of each month to Kids Like Me from 1-4 p.m. Just come in and complete an application. How awesome is that! Thank You, Alamosa Bowl! So, I hope to see you at Alamosa Bowl, Sunday (2/4/18) from 1-4 p.m.!
Hey, kids like me, this is ‘D’s’ story:
My name starts with a ‘D’ and I grew up in a small town outside of San Luis, CO. My father was an alcoholic and abusive with my mom. He was emotionally abusive as well. I remember as a small child waking up in the middle of the night to them fighting and having to run to the closest neighbor’s house with my mom and my brother holding my baby sister just to get away from all the chaos. Not long after that, we moved in with my grandfather and shortly after, my dad committed suicide. I was in shock, feeling rejected with an ugly feeling of worthlessness - a father who chose death over his children. Thank God for my granddad who took us in and became the only father I had ever known.
I was about 15 the first time I drank alcohol. I would cry and try to fight everyone around me. I was angry with my dad and unable to forgive him. As I got older, I met and married a man who was 16 years older than me. We had four sons. I was living the white-picket-fence-life on the outside but I was dying on the inside from the feeling of not being good enough, or pretty enough. I just could not make him happy. I was going from one bad relationship to another until I woke-up in ICU clinging to the last bit of life he didn’t beat out of me.
The pain, physical pain I felt was so bad I began abusing my pills. It took all the pain away. I was numb - not even one emotion did I feel. I became out of control abusing my prescription drugs. Slowly, I pushed everyone away from me, especially my sons. I never imagined hurting them, but I did. I chose my drugs over them time after time but deep inside I loved them more than anything. I just could not get a grip on my life.
I lost all faith in life, in God, and in myself. I eventually started to shoot-up heroin and landed in jail time and time again. This time it was my blessing in disguise. I sobered up in there and my eyes were opened. I found enough faith to make it to church in jail…God still loves me and He forgives me. The first scripture I heard, Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you…”
God has a plan for each and every one of us - not to harm us but to give us a future and hope.
It’s never too late to forgive yourself and those who have hurt you. I love my sons and my granddaughters and I don’t want them to ever go through this. I will do things right and lead by example to show them God’s love and hope so that we can overcome this cycle of addiction. We need to educate ourselves and help others with God’s love, not judgement.
So, my advice is to love each other completely, pray for one another and remember we are forgiven by God’s righteousness. Thank you for reading my story and God bless you, all.
Thank you, for reading my column. Write to me at Amarah’s “Kids Like Me” P.O. Box 354, Alamosa, CO 81101. I hope to hear from you soon! If you know a kid like me, or parent, who is an addict/alcoholic, please tell him or her about “Amarah’s Corner, Kids Like Me” in the Valley Courier. Tell them to contact me, or you can contact me on their behalf. If you know a kid like me, or parent, who doesn’t have a Bible, but wants one, please, contact me. I’ll make sure he/she gets a Bible, “…and all the earth may know there is a God…” (1 Samuel 17:46, KJV).
My goal is to help kids like me, and I want to help their parents, too. Until next time, remember, Jesus Loves You, and JESUS IS LORD!