Hi, my name is Johnny. I was born in Denver but I grew-up in Monte Vista.

If I could change anything, I would change the person I am today so I could be the father my kids deserve.

I am divorced and I have two daughters. I want to make things right with them and I will do it by being in their lives more now that I’m gonna be off papers (probation).

If I woke up tomorrow morning and everything in my life was perfect, I wouldn’t be here, incarcerated. I would still be married, living with my kids, and my relationship with my family would be great.

My mother was a hard-working lady, who was always sober. My dad was the cocaine addict and alcoholic in this situation. I was always raised by my mother. My father left when I was very young. Things in my life were great til my mom married this one guy. That’s when my life changed drastically. Every time I made a mistake growing up, he emotionally and physically abused me to where my mom had no say to what was going on.

I wanted to be a firefighter when I grew up and I had a dog named, Oso. He was my pal. I played the trumpet in school and I was artistic.

I drew pictures of whatever came to mind. I played basketball and football, which was very important to me, but I had poor grades, so I was kicked off the team because I had trouble in school.

I had a few friends in school and some of my teachers were good with me and my old principal, Mr. Lenny Martinez, was a trusted adult that I could talk with.

So, during school while growing up, I isolated myself like my stepdad told me to do because if anyone found out I was getting abused, things for me at home would have gotten worse.

So, I started isolating myself all the time to where I started to hide my feelings by getting curious on how to make all this go away.

When I would see my dad, I would see him break down pills, so I got curious and started stealing his script and doing the same thing he was doing, and I really did love the affect of what I was doing.

Well, when I grew up some more, I got interested in the different kind of drugs out there: weed and cocaine. I started experimenting with those and just went up the chain to meth and heroin.

I never used alcohol, but I’ve used drugs for 12 years. Heroin is my drug of choice, but I want to stop using drugs because it made me lose everything that ever made me happy.

I started using drugs because I was lonely, and I was depressed because I was emotionally and physically abused by my stepfather.

I attended church when I was a kid and I believe in God. I haven’t gotten to take my kids to church or teach them about Jesus, yet, but I will.

So, finally I really loved the affect of the heroin because it was so much like the pill high and it really did hide my feelings toward my life and toward the people in it.

So, from there, my life changed a lot. I lost my wife, my kids, my house, my car, and at the end, I ended up in and out of jail, yet still, it seems like being incarcerated hasn’t helped me.

But all and all, I still have faith and hope that I will get my life back on track. But, please, people, don’t give up on your friends or loved ones if they’re going through this. That’s the worst thing you can do. We need your support. I know it can be hard at times but just please reach out to us. Don’t enable us. Just get us the help we need.

My advice for parents who are addicts is not to give up hope and to accomplish the things they always wanted to accomplish.

My advice for kids like me is to have faith and hope that things will get better and to have a little patience, even though that can be very hard.

But, just don’t give up on the person you love. They’re just lost and just dealing with life’s struggles from the past.

Well, God bless everyone going through this, and God bless the people we hurt being the way we are.

But, just know something in our lives caused us to be like this and just know some of us can deal with it better than others.

Well, thanks for reading this and God bless you all. — Johnny

Thank you, for having the courage to share your story, Johnny.

Remember, Jesus loves you, and Jesus is Lord.