Amarah's Corner: Justin shares his story, Part 1

Amarah shares the following experience of Justin, the first male inmate to participate in an interview with her for her column. Amarah also celebrates her 100th column this week.

Justin, Part 1:

Hi! My name is Justin and I would like to give you a few words of encouragement for today and for life. I am 29-yrs old and know a thing or two about struggle. I lost both parents and most of my family to drugs and alcohol. I grew up in foster care from the age of 11 to 18 and have been on my own ever since. I have four children who deserve a much better father than I have given them and I see that now, but like I always say, better late than never!

I have been beaten, put down, and thrown away,

So listen to me when I say.

Just look into my eyes and try to feel my pain

And see what it feels like to get left out in the rain.

Each and every day there is someone judging me,

Worried about my life and how I live in these streets.

See, my momma don’t love me and my daddy don’t care,

It don’t really matter if I’m here,

It don’t really matter if I’m there.

Oh, God, I just want to go home

Torn from my family - I am so alone.

I want so bad to just run away,

But instead I have to face this - and stay.

Each second I move closer to the door,

Please, Lord Jesus, let me see my family once more?

I want to run, laugh, sing and play,

“Dinner’s ready!” I want to hear my mother, say.

Beatings, shavings, that’s the least they’ve done to me,

Please, Please, Lord God, forever set me free!!

Who will cry for the little boy

Lost and all alone.

Who will cry for the little boy,

Abandoned, without his own.

Who will cry for the little boy,

Who walked the burning sand.

Who will cry for the little boy

The little boy inside the man.

Who will cry for the little boy,

A good-boy, he tried to be.

Who will cry for the little boy,

Who cries inside of ME.

Life is hard, no doubt about that, but there is a better way and that is a fact. I have given my life to God and He has changed all that. But, before I gave my life to God and was still lost and confused, I had to learn the hard way, just like most…

Now let me take a step back — when I was just a young boy. My family was in a very bad car accident. Our car rolled five times and in the process we lost my little brother, Julian. He was only 7 years old and I was only 9 years old. I remember seeing him take his last breath. That accident most definitely changed my life, forever — physically, emotionally, and mentally.

After that, my mom became extremely depressed and began to do drugs. Then, she even began to lose control and self-respect…that’s when I learned what a prostitute was…unfortunately. Two-years later, she left my older brother and me in an apartment and never came back.

My older brother joined a gang so we had somewhere to go. He was the best older brother. He always made me go to school, put money in my pocket, the best bike, and put me on my first football team. But, like everything, nothing lasts forever. It was just a matter of time before my brother got into trouble and got committed as a juvenile and went to prison. I ended up in foster care for the next seven years.

My high school sweetheart and I graduated from Pueblo West High in 2007. We have two wonderful children together. By the time I was 22 years old, my older brother got out of prison, on parole. I was so happy considering I hadn’t seen family in years, but like some people say, “If it’s too good to be true, it usually is.” I went and got him and allowed him to live with my family just to find out seven months later he was having an affair with my wife. They admitted it to me, are still together, and have one child.

I couldn’t believe it for a long time. Shortly after, I started to experiment with drugs — I didn’t know the side effects or consequences of what I was doing and I didn’t really care. Since then, I have been in and out of jail more times than I can remember and have never been more ashamed or depressed than I have ever been in my entire life. All the people I thought were my friends were nowhere to be found when I needed them. But, in the end, I learned a valuable lesson… They didn’t really care about me!

Stay tuned for Justin, Part 2, next week!

Until next time, remember, Jesus Loves You, and JESUS IS LORD!