Hi! My name is Amarah. Kids are important to Jesus, and they’re important to me, too.
“Kids like me” are kids and adults of all ages whose parents are, or were, drug addicts, and alcoholics; kids who have suffered, or who are suffering, abuse and neglect on multiple levels; and kids who are victims of bullying.
So, to start off with, I have been clean for 1 1/2 years. I have not done, or wanted to do, drugs this whole time. I’m in corrections on a distribution charge and have been for 10-months. I have been in several classes and have graduated all of them. I’m very proud of the person I’m becoming. My only regret is that it has taken this long.
I was born in Colorado Springs, CO, and I wanted to be a dancer when I grew-up. My favorite things to do when I was a kid were dancing, ice skating, and gymnastics.
I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused by my father and my mom’s boyfriend off-and-on for about one-year. I didn’t tell until later. No one believed me or helped me.
I played the flute, and sang, in school. I had some trouble in school and was kicked-out of band because my grades weren’t good enough. I was artistic and wrote poems and songs that were very dark and depressed.
At this point in my life, I don’t trust anyone, I have really bad dreams, my nerves are bad, and I really don’t like for people to be close to me.
I was young when I started using and have quit cold turkey but let me say ‘using’ has caused me to lose my kids, my house, car, property, money, and family, and my boyfriend got killed because of my drug use.
My whole family despises me because of my ‘using.’
I drank alcohol for two years and used drugs for 20 years. I started using drugs because I was on the street, depressed and abused. Meth was my drug of choice.
I hate the fact that my kids also used drugs. I have two in recovery and the other won’t stop.
I was 11 years old the first time I chose to do meth.
My step-dad died and I chose to do drugs because I couldn’t handle life after he died. We had his funeral on my 12th birthday. That put me into a state of mind that I haven’t yet figured out what that is. After that, I ran away with 52 counts on record that I kept on causing.
I was pregnant by age 13 and emancipated.
By 14 years of age, I had a baby and while I was trying to be a mom, I caught a battery case when my baby was just 6 weeks old. I had to do 17 months at age 14 in a girl’s prison in Florida. They weren’t very nice calling me a murderer and it made national news. I still am dealing with the case.
By 30 years old, I was a single parent and had been my whole entire time of being a mom. My second child was a girl that was born with water on her brain which could kill her at any time and she ran away at every chance she could get. She also made national news for being kept against her will.
My third child, his whole life, saw me being abused and shot at and beat-up and hurt with a broken back, by my husband. And, he started to abuse drugs, also.
My three kids have seen it all. I have put them through a lot. I hurt them emotionally for which I am very sorry and I want to make things right with them.
My third child has been sexually abused due to the state taking him, running, and the state wouldn’t listen to me to find him so he was abused and was taken into sex trafficking.
If I could change anything, I would change my whole adult life.
My advice for:
* Parents who are addicts: take one day and stare in the mirror without looking away - to see who you have become, and to change who you are.
* Grandparents of ‘kids like me:’ go slow with the kids and take every moment as if it is the last.
* Teachers: watch for bruises on kids, watch the kids who don’t eat, don’t sleep, and watch for the kids who sleep in school.
* People in the community: it’s going to get better with more people talking about it and coming to help the community.
If I woke up tomorrow morning and everything was perfect, it would be me waking up and finding me and my kids together with my mom and the rest of my family.
My life has so much negative that the positive is hard to see but we are doing it finally cause I’m clean now and can see what’s wrong.~Melanie
Thank You for sharing your story, Melanie! Please, remember Jesus Loves You and JESUS IS LORD!