Hi. My name is Amarah. Kids are important to Jesus, and they’re important to me, too.
Kids like me are kids and adults of all ages whose parents are, or were, drug addicts and alcoholics, kids who have suffered, or who are suffering, abuse and neglect on multiple levels, and kids who are victims of bullying.
Amarah shares mom’s story from local jail
Hi, I’m Briana, and I was raised by my grandparents. I was born in Alamosa, but I lived in La Jara. When I was little, I always loved animals and knew I wanted to help animals when I grew up. I had brothers and sisters, and I had my grandparents. My parents drank alcohol and used drugs, and I was emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. My mom lost custody of us because she was really bad on drugs and men. Plus, my mom was always leaving us places, and selling our stuff.
It was horrible and she used to get me so sad. I was a cheerleader in school, but she never went to my cheerleading games or proms. Nothing. My grandma was tired of picking us up at random houses, so she got custody of us. My grandma was my mom. She was always by my side but, it gets worse.
My mom passed away from her drug-use, but not once did I ever get mad because I knew she had a bad addiction. I was just sad because she never wanted to stop using drugs - for me. It was my bad thinking that got me into addiction. I figured, if my mom did it, I would do it, too. So, I fell into her footsteps. And, then, it drove my grandma crazy because I was turning like my mom. Then, my granny passed away.
I have lost a lot from drug use and addiction. My family members died, and all four of my kids were taken from me. I just need to keep my mind positive, so I don’t continue on the same trail my mother was on. I am trying to get better now that I’m sober. I don’t want that awful life anymore. I want to change my lifestyle and have a better life for myself and for my kids.
I had friends in school. I was a cheerleader and I was good at it, and I loved it. My teachers were good with me, but I had trouble in school, and I was kicked-off the cheerleading squad because my grades weren’t good enough.
I am divorced, and I have four children. My relationship with them is not good. I attended church when I was a kid, but I didn’t take my kids to church, and I didn’t teach them about Jesus.
I have hurt them emotionally and I’m very sorry. I do want to make things right with them. I need to stop doing bad things to myself, so I can find myself, and get better. And, I will do it.
I started drinking alcohol when I was 21 years old; my drugs of choice are meth and heroin. I started using meth when I was 21 years old, and I’ve used heroin since I was 24 years old. Why did I start using drugs? Because my life has been so bad since I was just a little girl, and it still is. But I want to STOP using drugs and alcohol.
Drinking alcohol and using drugs have affected my life really bad. I do NOT want my children to follow in my footsteps like I followed my mother’s. If I could change anything, I would change my whole life around.
My advice for parents who are addicts: “Get clean before it is too late because overdose happens, but sobriety happens, too. We choose one.”
My advice for grandparents of kids like me: “Keep doing a wonderful job because it just feels Good to have someone there who does really care.”
My advice for kids like me: “Just never give-up because one day, the light will come that way.”
Miracle question: If I woke-up tomorrow morning and everything in my life was perfect, what would that look like? “Man, I would never turn back to drugs or look on the bad parts of my life because it would all be good, now.”
Briana, thank you for your honesty. Your story reminds me of my story. Please, stay on the path you are on, now. Do it for yourself. Do it for you kids. They need You. Even if they say they hate you, they don’t; they’re just hurt (remember how you felt with your mom). Please, write them a note and tell them you love them - as often as possible. Trust me. They need to hear this from you.
Thank you for reading my column. Until next time, remember, Jesus loves you, and Jesus is Lord.