My name is Nicole and I’m 40 years old. I have two very beautiful daughters. I am a very proud grandmother of two beautiful girls and a grandson on the way. My youngest daughter is due 10/11/18. I’m so excited and hoping I get out before then to be with my daughter.

I never had a pet when I was a kid, but I’m artistic. I love drawing and I was in art class in middle school and high school. I was always drawing pictures of my family, even my dad, even though he left us.

I have my very beautiful mother, Barbara, but she’s very ill with diabetes. She just had heart surgery and is on the list for a kidney transplant. I care for my mother, so I hope I get out soon. My mother is my best friend. She was a single parent and she took care of me and my two brothers the best she could. She started out working at a potato warehouse, for years, to take care of us. Then she became a teacher for 27 years and had to retire last year due to her sickness.

When I was a child, we were very poor. I’ve always been very athletic. My father was an alcoholic. His brother, my Uncle William, died of cirrhosis of the liver. We have drunks on both sides of the family, mom’s and dad’s. Mom never drank, never smoked, never did drugs. Mom was never in trouble.

Dad was drinking and using drugs at an early age. He was in trouble all the time.

In grade school, I was a very good kid. In middle school, I played sports but was in a lot of fights. In high school I started partying and drinking - after basketball games. As a freshman, I started on varsity basketball as starting point guard. I played basketball all four years, got a scholarship to Mesa State University for two years for basketball.

At 30 years old, I started using meth. I was in a relationship that was very abusive. From 30-40 years of age, I’ve been using meth, drinking really bad. I’m an alcoholic but have been sober for 40 days, today. I’m in the first stages of cirrhosis of the liver. I am in Alamosa Jail right now and have been here 40 days. I want to stop drinking alcohol and I’m stopping for my family and myself.

I started drinking alcohol in ninth grade. My friends were older and drank.

Meth is my drug of choice and I’ve used for 10 years. I started using drugs when I was in a very abusive relationship, but I want to stop using drugs. Drugs and alcohol destroyed my life. I lost jobs, good friends, and it destroyed my coaching life.

The possibility of my children/grandchildren using drugs would kill me, destroy me.

I’ve been married for a year now, but it’s a very abusive marriage - physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m filing for divorce. I’m ready to change my life, be a mom, grandma, and live the sober life. I pray every day to the Lord for God’s help to guide me to a sober, good, healthy life. I’m ready. I’ve asked God for help. I’m ready to turn my life over to Him, to walk with God, to go His direction. I’ve asked God to overcome my hurts, hang-ups and habits and may victory overcome them, help me change my life for I have failed by myself.

I’ve coached basketball for eight years. I coached fast-pitch softball for two years. I was happy when I followed these dreams to coach. I’m ready for a new beginning, new life to be re-born again and never look back at my past, let the old me die and start all over. I love my family too much to make them suffer anymore.

My advice for addict-parents: Addiction destroys your life, you can lose your family, your kids, your life. It’s the worst life, ever. It’s very hurtful. You not only hurt yourself but all your loved ones around you.

My advice for grandparents of kids like me: Never give-up on kids like me. Amarah, you are very special and very smart. Your grandma is very proud of you and she will never give up on you, never!

My advice for kids like me: It’s very hurtful. My youngest daughter cries every day to me and wants me to quit drugs/alcohol. She tells me, “Please, mom, don’t give-up! We need you!” My oldest daughter tells me every day, “Mom, we love you no matter what you’ve done! So, don’t give up!”

If I woke up tomorrow morning and everything was perfect, it would be the best life, ever. I could wake up with a smile and live a normal, happy life and all my dreams would come true. Nothing would, or could, stop me.

Thank you, Amarah, for letting me be a part of “kids like me.” Always~Nicole.

Thank you, for sharing your story, Nicole.

Remember, Jesus Loves You, and JESUS IS LORD!