God Bless America...


HOLLYWOOD — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Hollywood Reporter reported the TV ratings for the presidential debate Tuesday night and Nielsen reports that seventy-three million viewers tuned in. There is one consensus. About the only thing everybody can agree on is, Joe Biden did a terrible job of moderating the Trump-Wallace debate.

The Wall Street Journal reports Fox News, for the first time in history, drew more prime-time viewers last week than broadcast networks, reflecting public interest in election coverage. But this week, their competition went too far. CNN just described Tuesday night’s debate as mostly peaceful.

Joe Biden raised eyebrows during Tuesday’s debate when he distanced himself from the Green New Deal and refused to say if he would pack the Supreme Court. Biden looked into the camera and declared that he is now the Democratic Party. Then he leaned so far to the left he almost fell over.

CBS News reporter Paula Reid and her camera crew were one of four news crews attacked by raccoons on the White House lawn as they set up to broadcast Monday. The attack was part of a bigger picture. The raccoons are angry that they paid more in taxes last year than President Trump.

President Trump’s tax returns show he lost so much money in 1995 it legally lightened his tax load since. He lost so much, Trump was exposed only having to pay seven-hundred-fifty dollars in income taxes the last two years. The good news is Trump’s just been nominated for the Nobel Prize for Bankruptcy.

Joe Biden embarked on an old-fashioned whistle-stop train tour of the Midwest on Wednesday, reluctantly forsaking the comforts of his Delaware home. Last week, Jill Biden bought Joe one of those Memory Foam Mattresses for their bedroom. What a rip-off, he still can’t remember who she is.

The Presidential Debate Commission issued a statement Wednesday saying it will change the format to reduce candidate interruptions. But to be on the safe side, they just hired Don King to promote the next debate between Trump and Biden. It’s already being billed as the Thrilla in Vanilla.

The New York Post editorialized that our presidential race reflects our lowered culture. That’s so true. America might learn from the British who separated four foul-mouthed parrots from others at the zoo to keep kids from hearing the filthy language, and do the same with the Ladies of The View.

The Washington Post says Kim Jun-Un conned Trump into believing North Korea wanted peace while he built up his nuclear arsenal. They say Kim now has a missile that can get to Los Angeles from North Korea in forty minutes. That’s faster than it takes a car to get to Los Angeles from Los Angeles.

The Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Tourism Bureau just posted online and mailed out a brochure entitled There Are Twelve Ways to Get to Los Angeles. It’s a catchy phrase but it’s not true. There’s only one way to get to Los Angeles and that’s through a series of bad personal decisions.

British astronaut Helen Sharman told a New Scientist Live convention in London that NASA has a contingency plan to send an all female crew on the first mission to Mars. It’s to keep the astronauts, during the year and a half mission, from having sex in the capsule.

Governor Newsom created a California taxpayer reparations commission for slavery. If that includes open-mike nights in the late 70s, I’m the descendant of slave owners who had to perform at showcase clubs for free for three years and I need to know how much I owe me. It’s LONG overdue.

USA Today reports a modern Potomac riverfront mansion on a piece of George Washington’s estate is on sale for sixty million. The riverbank is where George told his father the truth that it was HE who chopped down the cherry tree. I never saw the bravery in that, the axe was still in HIS hands.

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