How many times have you said that? That statement can make you sick, literally sick. Guilt is not healthy. It is not something you can live with and live well. But, we say it and wear it like a badge of honor, right? No. It has to stop. Feeling guilty is not the way to live. You need to live free.
How do I get out from under the burden of guilt? The first step is to admit it, right. Admit what, that I feel guilty? No. Admit that feeling guilty is the wrong way to go about living. It is not a successful path to a healthy abundant life. Jesus did not go around this Earth feeling guilty. He didn’t.
Next, if I feel so guilty then what do I do about it? You can start by stop saying how guilty you feel for being such a wonderful person. Yep. You heard me. Again, that whole sentence, “I feel so guilty” usually ends up with a hero’s action to fix your guilt. Or, it ends with a martyr’s way to deal with it. Don’t kid yourself. You are not a hero by feeling guilty and saving the world out of your guilt. It’s a cop-out. You are only hurting yourself and the people who want you happy.
Taking care of a loved one is hard work. Being that loved one who needs help is even more work. You as the loved one needing the help feels guilty asking for help so you sit and suffer and don’t speak up. Then, you, as the caregiver feels guilty if you don’t make your loved one’s life easier all of the time at the risk of your own well-being. The dog wags the tail and the tail wags the dog. Around and around the circle it all goes.
Just stop and evaluate what you can really do for your loved one. What do you really want to do. Ask yourself what is the one thing that you really shouldn’t be doing. What is causing you so much stress and guilt. You’re going to have to get still and be quiet and search a little bit. You may have to take a few days to ponder this one.
And, you as the loved one who needs care, stop and ask yourself, “Could I get someone else to help me.” Now, I don’t mean get someone else to help with everything. I am talking about getting someone to help you with that one thing that really seems to bring stress and strain in the family. What do you need to let go of?
You need life. You need breath. You need the sunshine shining on your face. You need to feel the wind on your face. You need to step back and see the simple things in your life. Step back and see the wonder of the little things that surround you. A hot cup of coffee early in the morning with the sun coming up. The giggle of your grandchildren. The squeeze of your daughter’s hand in yours. The kiss on the cheek your mate gives you. Little things. It’s the little things that keep you going. All of the big stuff that causes so much stress can be gone in a minute and we wouldn’t even notice. But, that little thing like the cup of coffee in your favorite chair in the morning or that squeeze of your hand will not be forgotten.
Start today seeing the little things and all the rest will fall into perspective. God Bless you as you see your life in the little things. And, God Bless us as we see our “little” thing called freedom in the United States of America!