Letter to the editor: Obituary for Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of Common Sense.

Common Sense had been with us for many years and lived a long life, died slowly from heartbreak that started around the year of Our Lord, 2000. Age is uncertain due to the fact that the birth certificate was buried in bureaucratic red tape.

Common Sense selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.

Common Sense lived by simple and sound policies such as “Don’t spend more than you earn,” “The adults are in charge, not the kids” and “Not everybody gets a trophy.”

For many decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in from rain, the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair and maybe it was my fault.

He was a veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression and the Technological Revolution.

Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends, but his health declined further when he became infected with the ravages of overbearing federal legislation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. When schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies; when reports were heard of elementary boys being charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; when a teen was suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch; when a teacher was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but couldn’t inform the parent when a female student is pregnant or wants an abortion. Common Sense couldn’t help but shake his head after someone failed to realize that coffee is served hot, spilled some in their lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations, lost Constitutional rights and freedoms, federal over reach and the nurturing of Prohibition Laws. When people could no longer defend themselves during a burglary and the burglar could sue for assault, and the loss of our free agency.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims and federal judges became rules of America.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason.

He is survived by his stepchildren, known as “Alt Right,” “Snowflake,” “Antifa, “Communist,” “Socialist” and many others too numerous to mention.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. But Conservative was there.

Submitted by Jason Holman


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