Native Writes: Please release me, let me go


I just learned I am in danger of being dumped.

A long term, demanding relationship may be coming to an end.

It won’t. I have been trying to get out for more than three years. I receive up to 10 emails a day and can’t get them to stop.

One day with time on my hands and a brain in neutral, I entered a “free” sweepstakes advertised on television. People were becoming unbelievably wealthy and all it took was one entry online. From that day to this, I have been named “the big winner” if I would just comply with one more requirement, buy more insurance and play another “game.”

Yesterday, Wednesday, was the final, set date the prize patrol would be headed for the front door of a residence I no longer occupy if I would search for something using a search engine offered.

Starting with “Ask Jeeves,” I have been Googling for years and never received a demand that I search again or lose anything. Some sites asked for money for full information on individuals I have sought.

I entered “eat dirt” and was told Ms. Dirt had been located and I could learn all about her -- including her criminal record -- for a set price.

Same with “pound sand” and “eat s--t.” I almost paid for the background records on “Mr. S--t.”

There also was the honor of playing “games” for “tokens” that could be gambled to win items offered by sponsors. Really? I learned they also want money.

If I filled out a KENO ticket, my numbers would be protected forever, then was warned I was in danger of losing out if I didn’t fill the card in again.

As advertised, the sweepstakes would deliver what I had been unsuccessfully spending $2 a chance to win in the Colorado Lottery --  a set sum of money each day for life. The online win could be passed on to a younger family member. It would be forever.

If I buy chances on “Lucky for Life” in the Colorado Lottery, I may not win, but no one will contact me demanding that I comply with numerous conditions in order to continue. I am also secure in the knowledge that the state’s proceeds, placed with Great Outdoors Colorado, will be used for worthy projects in towns and counties in Colorado that need money.

I have stopped “playing.” The online relationship is unfazed.

I am told to enter winning numbers I don’t have, or be eliminated from the big drawing. I am required to complete a ticket to stay on board.

The big prize last year was supposed to be awarded Dec. 22. The message Dec. 23 was no one had matched all the numbers so another award date was set -- Feb. 27.

They are still poised to award the big prize today, Thursday, if I will just search again...

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