Native Writes: Respect can return


Back in my “liberated” days, I must admit I wasn’t polite. If something went against my beliefs, I let him or her know in no uncertain terms. My idea of feminism was guided by Germaine Greer and Gloria Steinem.

The man who dared hold a door for me was usually frowned upon. Gratitude wasn’t my thing.

“What are other women really thinking, feeling, experiencing, when they slip away from the gaze and culture of men?” asks Naomi Wolf in “The Beauty Myth.”

Having mellowed with age, I have learned that some of the actions I took as insults were actually compliments. Holding the door for someone else is a sign of respect, which seems to be badly lacking in most of today’s social interactions.

Men didn’t open and hold doors for women because they thought the women were too weak to do it themselves. They did it to show chivalry wasn’t dead.

Men are no longer taking off their jackets and putting them over puddles so sweet ladies won’t get their feet wet. I believe that’s a myth, anyway.

I have been in many places after many rain storms and haven’t seen it done. I did appreciate the men in Summit County who extracted my left Sorrel from deep mud while the big melt was taking place.

Mud isn’t polite. They knew that. I thanked them and bought coffee.

With our nation’s lack of respect in mind and observing the election results Tuesday night, I wondered who and what determined the winners.

I was vaguely upset at some results and almost ecstatic at others. We’ll see how the November elections pan out.

Republicans and democrats are vocal, but there is no big alternative groundswell. That’s probably because the message has changed.

I read that male politicians are wondering why feminists aren’t up in arms because Sara Huckabee Sanders was refused service and asked to leave a DC-area eatery. The refusal wasn’t because she is a woman, it’s anger at her boss.

I would have served her.

I would have served every one of the people who recently were pressured to leave their meals in the DC area.

That’s not my thing.

Unless someone is loud and rowdy, he or she should be served.

If I could, I would take my whole family out and eat at the Red Hen restaurant.

I am not being partisan here, I’m not selling out to any ideology. Good business practices are important.

The most successful hometown businesses cater to their customers.

Chains are less diligent than the “mom and pops.” Successful local businesses make every customer feel special.

That “special feeling” is rare in the cities.

As I look forward to November, I wonder if the people whose careers are on the line will realize that civility is preferable to confrontation.

We can grow up. Respect can return.

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