Native Writes: Robotic solutions


There was a “special report” on television recently dealing with “artificial intelligence (AI).” Robots are poised to take over.

I almost changed the channel. It’s crazy what one is allowed to do after life saving surgery. The longer list is what one is not allowed to do and what one can recall being on the to do list.

I continued watching. Katie Couric, one of my heroes, was the moderator.

Many people already have Alexis on their coffee tables, enabling them to order common household activities effortlessly completed. I question this but am not buying one to find out. Raj on “Big Bang Theory” had a crush on Siri, who spoke through his phone, answering questions. An entity without a body carries with it a form of safety.

There are also television remotes that can tune in to a program if one tells them to or when a line from a film is spoken. That should be fun in a household where cacophony reigns, as it often does in a room filled with youngsters.

I hope there is a show named “you’re an a—hole.” That’s assuming the commercial is correct and a movie can be ordered by saying a line from it into the end of the remote.

I think there is. It’s called professional wrestling, mixed martial arts or Ninja Warrior. Then again, the words might yield one of the few soap operas now available, a game show pitting newlyweds against newlyweds or a political roundtable.

Back in the day, people watched what they said on the tube. If something wiggled through, it was bleeped and never heard again. Today’s entertainment sites – and news programs – always find a way to air it anyway.

Someone throws the “F-bomb” and everyone watching knows it happened. My mom shut me up when I was in my 20s and uttered it after tripping on a cable fence. “I have watched that fence for the 10 minutes I have been waiting for you and it has not had relations with anything else. Only use words with meaning, where needed.”

Now, we have robotic assistance.

Katie Couric toured a lab where experimental sex robots were being developed.

Now, hold on, here. Any quirky gift shop in an urban mall has had inflatable sex dolls available forever.

The robots Katie observed were life-sized, female and looked like Barbie.

A “technician” said work was being done on a male model.

I watched the female activated. I turned my mind’s clock back to the time an inflatable doll was filled with helium and let loose over a dance, with mouth wide open. It got hooked on a ceiling fan and had to be deactivated.

It reappeared several weeks later dressed in a suit and wearing a Ronald Reagan mask. No helium. The doll sat in a corner.

At that point, I was wondering why anyone would need to spend big money on a robot. Unless…

What about a robotic politician?

Nope. We already have those, in human form without much intelligence.

As robots advance upon humans, bringing with them AI, it will be interesting. My biggest concern is the human work force. People need to work, they need to live without fear and in peace.

I have an idea. Put the robots in Congress and let humans take charge of our basic society. Give us a choice what our tax dollars will do. Let us enjoy the fruits of our labor and that includes all the money we have been forced to pay into the Social Security and Medicare trusts, where many elected robots seek to sink their hands.

If sex robots become commonplace… Somehow, listening to the news, I think they are.

Military folks will know what I mean when I say it’s SNAFU. The rest of you can Google it or ask Alexis.

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