Native Writes: The real deal


Whatever happened to the good old belly laugh? You know, the one that brings tears to the eyes?

Many people don’t laugh truthfully. That little titter doesn’t count.

The fact that the subject was a little edgy and offensive is no excuse.

With that in mind, I have once again noticed the declaration that news with which one disagrees is termed “fake news.”

A woman I totally respect included me in one of her columns, noting that I wouldn’t write anything that couldn’t be proven.

Really?

Here are some amazing news briefs. You, the reader, must decide if they are real or fake.

It has been announced that the Great Sand Dunes will be renamed the Great Sand Box because so many people in elected office own cats.

There is a rush hour on our San Luis Valley highways. The worst accidents happen at about the same time of day.

The sign, STOP, means “Slight tap on pedal.”

Speed limit signs are a mere suggestion.

Anyone can pass the test for a GED without instruction. Self-guided learning is a proven success. If I send in enough money, I can get a doctorate from the University of Bologna.

A contribution to that church advertising in the checkout stand tabloid will buy a certificate declaring one an ordained minister. For a little more, one can be a bishop.

“American Pickers” is coming to the San Luis Valley and will probably buy half of it.

TV news knows there is a San Luis Valley but doesn’t consider it relevant unless there is a mass murder or gruesome homicide. It’s also important when the thermometer dips to 50 below zero. There are populated areas between Walsenburg and Durango.

Law enforcement here loves to work with the press.

All missing persons will eventually turn up.

The federal government is exploring infrastructure changes in the Valley. The road from Monte Vista to Capulin will be paved.

Hemp will be a big cash crop as soon as seed becomes available. It’s just pot, though, so there’s no big hurry.

The Email post asking for my opinion tells me I will need to send money so it will be recorded.

School districts care about children more than staffing.

I appreciate letters and phone calls declaring that I am a “snowflake” and need to melt away.

The “Dawning of The Age of Aquarius” in the 1970’s did bring harmony and understanding.

Let it be.

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