Or not.

I mentioned last week the mermaid tail collection I learned about through one of our crazy emails. I had flashbacks to “Splash,” only these mermaid tails are much more glamorous than Daryl Hannah’s flippered appendage.

And possibly more expensive. The dazzling blue and black “Sea Dragon Mermaid/Merman Tail” (I guess guys don’t have to be left out of the mermaid craze, one size fits all?) starts at $99.95, as does the so-red-you-could-see-it from space Katana Koi mermaid/merman tail. The rainbow reef tail is only $34.95, though, as is the “Majestic Monarch” tail, which does resemble a monarch butterfly’s colors, and the “Sweet Dreams” pastel tail is a modest $54.95.

There are at least 75 of these tails including some sets that come with tops, which I would hope the mermaids would be wearing in any case, although I don’t know anybody who would be seen in public with a mermaid’s tail on, topless or not. The “fin fun” sets start at $69.99. Toddler sets are less. I could see a little girl getting into an “Aerial Green” mermaid tail set, but please spare me the sight of someone my age and size trying to fit into the “Lunar Tide” or “Twilight Sparkle” mermaid tails. There would be a “lunar tide” all right if some of us “big fish” splashed into the water. Maybe the “Clownfish” tail would be more appropriate.

If you don’t like the selection of butterfly, orca or “Groovy Goby” tails, you can design your own with the custom tail creator … “Ever wanted to create your own mermaid tail design? Now you can turn your dreams into reality in a few easy steps!” That’s only $79.95 and takes two to three weeks for delivery. Try explaining that package from “Fin Fun” to UPS or the postal service.

There are other products such as the “Tail Protector” in case you run up against too many barnacles. “Hey Mermaids, don’t you hate it when the tips of your tail get scraped? Well we have the solution! Our Fin Protector Kit includes amazing protection tape that mends and protects your lovely tail from any more of those pesky scrapes and tears.”

I really do hate it when my tail gets scraped. It might be worth the $7.95 to have a tail protector, not sure if it’s guaranteed for those times when you have to turn tail and run or cover your tail.

Also good to know, all tails are machine washable and come with a 60-day tail tip warranty. “No other mermaid tail company offers a one-time FREE tail replacement within 60 days should tail tip rip or tear.” How many mermaid tail companies are there?

This company’s tails have even received awards and have “become a favorite of celebrities including the Kardashians.” Figures.

This company alone (out of Idaho, many mermaids there?) has sold to “hundreds of thousands of customers” according to them, in more than 180 countries, some even with water to swim in. If you know an adult with a mermaid tail, feel free to NOT introduce them to me.

Apparently there are Mermaid Mania pool parties, accessories, and even a few shark items just to keep the Mermaids on their toes, so to speak. Snatch up your tickets for the next Mermaid Mania Pool party in Carpinteria, California on August 18. It’s already sold out for this weekend’s party in Summit, New Jersey.

The Fin Fun site has games to play after you’re done shopping or you’re tired of the summer reruns on TV. My sisters would be glad to know there’s even a “Gingerbread Mermaid” game where you can decorate a gingerbread mermaid with sprinkles and gumdrops, tastefully positioned. Now that’s not something you’re going to see at the Christmas cookie table. I wonder if there’s a cookie cutter for that?

For little girls who want to grow up to be mermaids, there is the section on the web site where you can “tell us all about your Mermaiden self” — What would your tail look like? What would your powers be? What kind of animal would your FinFriend be? What would be your FinFriend’s name?

If you’re 48 and playing this game, you might have had too many of those cute pink pills with your soup and salad, sans shrimp of course, out of respect for your “FinFriends.”